What trip is this!

Is it possible to feel completely and blissfully happy while at the same time feel a deep and longing sadness. Well I think that it is totally possible and I will tell you why because it is happening to me. I can even pin point the exact moment that both of these emotions began to try and co-exist. A little over a week ago I was dropped off at the airport in Providence, Rhode Island to return home to Houston from a much needed vacation. From the moment that the Infinity pulled up to the curb I knew that I was in trouble.
I have to say that i feel that I have been so blessed this year. Word can not even describe the happiness I feel as I think about my life over these last couple of months. I feel so grateful everyday to wake up and know that somewhere in Connecticut is a amazing, sweet, hardworking man, who loves me as much as I love him. Just the thought that someday soon I will be able to spend time and all eternity with him feels me with more joy and happiness then I ever dreamed. However, the fact that he lives 2,700 miles away makes me feel a longing that I have never known. Some days it is actually frustrating to live in a body where both of these emotions are trying to co-exist. I just feel like saying "Make up your mind already stupid body." But I guess that is one of the many pleasures of being human, the wide array of emotions we can feel at any given moment. So although it occasionally feels bizarre, I have to say I wouldn't trade any aspect of my life for anything. I finally honestly understand the saying that you have to know the bitter to appreciate the sweet.
Although being previously married was one of the hardest thing I feel I have ever had to go through, I am grateful for all the things I learned about life, marriage, and love. That experience taught me so much about myself and about what I can and cant live with and without. I can honestly say that years ago I might not have appreciated the man I have been blessed with today but now I thank my Heavenly Father every night for the wonderful, kind, generous, selfless, and loving man that he has blessed me with. So to this man I would like to say, Thank You, for just being you because you are wonderful and I adore you and love you more then you will ever know.

Almost everyday Maddie does or says something that just melts my heart and I don't want to ever forget these precious moments I am having with her. So I am going to blog about some of them so that somewhere there is a record of them.

1.) It has become the tradition for Maddie to be my alarm clock in the morning if I don't have anything to get up for. This use to happen sort of by default because we were sleeping in the same bed but now that she is sleeping in her own room I thought that maybe the tradition would change. Before when she slept in my bed, almost every morning when she woke up she would tap me and say, "Momma I hungy!" And then she would always proceed to tell me that she wanted french toast. However a couple of mornings ago she came into my room at around 6am and I let her get in and sleep with me for about an hour. At 7 she woke up and she curled up right next to my head. She then started tickling my face very softly and said "I love you momma" I felt like my heart was going to explode. I thought this is the best moment ever. I wish I could wake up to those precious words from her every day. I then proceeded to tell her that I loved her to and her replay to me was even sweeter, "I just love you so much!" Some times I just have to marvel at how blessed I am.

Put on your sunday clothes when you feel down and out!!!

So today has been so much fun! This morning we had a long play date over at a friends house. After the play date we hit McDonald's for lunch. Then we came home and Maddie took a nice long nap and I was able to go shopping with Sadie (the cutest girl on the planet). It was so much fun and I am so excited to have a new shopping buddy. I was able to get some cute, warm clothes for my trip next week. I find it interesting how most women have a innate love for all things girlie, such as clothes, shoes, and accessories. Personally I don't think I have meet a shoe I did not like. I also love anything and everything to do with hair care and makeup. I know that I did not inherit this trait from my mother because she could care less about all of it. So where does this love come from. The answer is, I don't know, but I love it all the same. I have also notice Madeline's love for all things female, increasing daily. I think she probably asks me to paint her nails daily. She changes her outfit now more then I can count, and I am frequently finding articles of her clothing all over the house. Every morning when i am putting on my makeup she is right there and wants me to put whatever I am wearing on her as well. I just want to say, how lucky I feel to have a girl. I love her more then life itself. How lucky we are to get to be mothers and raise beautiful children.