Confession!

So all day today I have again been thinking about my parenting. I know what your thinking, your thinking...think about something else already. I guess that is just what comes with the territory of being a parent. Well I guess what I have been wondering is if it is a bad thing that I enjoy Maddie's nap and bed time almost as much as I enjoy her awake time. She is so high energy and we have so much fun when she is awake, that by the time she is ready for some rest, I feel so ready for some R&R as well. I honestly feel like I am able to enjoy her so much more if I am able to get some me time when she is asleep. Is this a bad thing? For example today we woke up and got cleaned up for the day. Then every thursday we attend Toddler Time at the Library which Maddie just absolutely love. She just love books, music, and seeing all the other kids. After that I asked her what she wanted to do for fun and she told me she wanted to go play at the mall, and to the mall we went. We had a blast, eating in the food court and then playing at their indoor play land. By 2 I was beat and she was starting to get a little whiny so we headed home. Within ten minutes of being home she was sound asleep and I was able to watch some TV and was able to crochet a blanket Maddie asked me to make. It was so nice and I felt so grateful that she was taking a nap and that I could just have a few hours to myself. Even if it was only to crochet. It feels like such a weird combination of emotions to love your child so deeply that you wouldn't know how to live in a world where they didn't exist now that they do but at the same time be grateful when you get break from them. However, I do know this, that no matter how ready for a break I am from parenting or frustrated I get when Maddie is whiny, I know that I never want her to see it because in this life there are no do overs or take backs when it comes to our kids. Once something has been done or said it can never be undone or said. We only get one chance to be great parent, ONLY ONE!!! So lets not settle for doing a half beat down job. Let strive to make it the best thing about us. When I die I dont want to be remembered for being a great artist, singer, friend, church member, athlete, ext. I want to be remember for how much I loved my children and my husband, not because I say I do all the time but because they see it in my everyday life.

I don't know if I am making sense or not but I hope you know what I mean. I truly feel like children are the greatest gifts that Heavenly Father can give us. No matter how a child comes into your life they are a gift, so if you haven't given your child a hug today, DO IT, and tell them how much you love them. And after you are done telling them how much you love them, spend the rest of your life showing them.

Zoo Day!!!

So I don't think many of you know this about me but I simply love going to the Zoo!!! I think it is such a fun outing. I use to visit it frequently before having Maddie and find I go there even more, using her as justification. My day started out fun even before we headed to the Zoo. Today is one of my best friends birthdays and Maddie and I were invited to join them at Denny's for a big b-day breakfast. We had a lot of fun and laughs and were able to head to the zoo full and happy!!!

The Zoo was so much fun today because it seemed like all the animals where not only out but being super active. Since today is Wednesday and deemed my National day of fun, I feel very grateful to all the animals for stepping up their game, and making it a very memorable day! It was also so much fun because I got to spend it with great friends. I feel so blessed to have such a great network of girlfriends. They truly bring such great joy to my life.

I am so sore it is not even funny!

I dont know why whenever I go to the gym I insist on working out like I am some sort of pro athlete. I have been trying to work out fairly regularly lately, so that I can eat whatever I want guilt free. Because I have to admit I suffer from a small dose of self loathing whenever I eat junk food. However, the guilt is only very short lived and never seems to deter me from eating whatever I want. Well yesterday was the first day I have actually gone to the gym in a while. Pretty much I have just been only running lately. I was at the gym for only about an hour and i just worked out my legs and abs. I did a pretty good cool down and figured I would be a little sore today but little did I realize that I would would be a crippled. I can barely walk, going up and down the stair is pretty much death, and I think if it were available i would connect myself to an ibuprofen drip. So have I learned my lesson ... probably not. Because i am sad to admit that this is not the first time this has happened and I can venture a guess that it wont be my last. Sad but true!!!

MY FOOD MIRACLE!!!

I have my days down to such an art form lately that any slight variation to my routine seems to really stand out in my mind at the end of the day! For example my morning today consisted of waking up, working out, eating a light breakfast, cleaning up, taking Maddie to Baby Ballet from 10:30 to 11, coming home, preparing to go Visiting Teaching, actually going visiting teaching (which took so long that I missed lunch), then me deciding I was way to hungry to cook something for my self and going to Whataburger instead. Now this is wear the story gets interesting. Well not really but lets pretend. I pull up to take my order and get the usual, a 2 piece chicken stripe meal with toast, gravy, fries, and a medium drink, oh yeah and I order a yummy cinnamon roll for good measure. By the time I got home my stomach was growling and I was sort of wishing I had ordered the 3 piece meal which pretty much just gives me more of everything. And low and behold when i open my box of food, what do i find, not just 3 chicken stripes but FOUR! Yes Four I tell you! I was speechless which is saying something. With how hungry I was, I felt like I had just won the food Lottery. NO LIE! I was beyond excited. Ok so lets be honest it is a little sad how excited I got over something so insignificant but sometimes that is just what life is all about. Just being happy and finding joy in very mundane everyday events or in my case lets call it a FOOD MIRACLE!!! LOL!!!

My Life Lately!!!

So this last week I have been having to communicate with my husband only via email and i realized my short emails to him are sort of like what I wanted my blog to be. My emails usually consist of funny things that happened to me throughout the day or funny thing that Maddie said. A lot of the time they also consist of whatever I am thinking about and occasionally things I need to vent about. I feel like I never have the time to blog but the truth is that I absolutely do. So I am going to try and start blogging every night. We will see how it goes.

This week I have been thinking alot about what makes a good mom. I guess the truth is I constantly wonder whether I am one. Do I play with, show love, teach her enough everyday? Am I being to firm or maybe I am being to soft? Do I do enough stuff with her? Am I inadvertently traumatizing her in some unknown way? This idea of being a perfect parent keeps me awake at night frequently. Some times I just wish there was a guidebook for the basic rules on how to be the best parent and produce an amazing, self reliant, self confident, honest, loyal, hardworking, trustworthy, respectful, kind, caring, and loving offspring.

The truth is, that there is NO guidebook or standard for what makes a good parent. We are each different and have different needs and I guess being a good mom mean doing the best I can everyday to play and show love to my children in the ways they need and to learn from my mistakes and try to correct them for tomorrow.

Thank you to all the woman out there who are doing there best to be great moms and who have taught me the skills to improve my parenting!